1. You have 4 sections in this book. DONOT read ahead.
The 1st section should be read BEFORE starters
The 2nd section should be read AFTER starters and BEFORE main course
The 3rd section should be read AFTER main course and BEFORE dessert
The 4th section should be read AFTER desserts
2. You should reveal EVERYTHING you read in this book, otherwise you are concealing evidence
3. At the end you should make a guess at who killed Lord Strutbury.
4. Never lie, you are not the murderer.
5. Try to keep your booklet away from prying eyes.
TURN TO THE NEXT PAGE
You have worked as the gardener and groundskeeper in Aldbury Manor since you were 21 years old. You should have retired by this age but you feel attached to Aldbury Manor. This is the only life you’ve ever known! You live in a little shed in the grounds and have never married.
Also, you have never once realised the yards of marijuana plants you grow in the grounds is illegal. Smoking the stuff is the only pleasure you have left.
You love the gardens of Aldbury, you know every inch of it and you often talk about it relentlessly.
You hide a huge secret, which explains your dedication and loyalty to the Strutbury family – especially Lady Strutbury, who you’d do anything to protect.
You act: Very kind, gentleman – like, but lacks manners due to living in a shed for 50 years. Rises every time a lady stands up
You talk: In a British Lancashire accent, gravely.
You Need: a pipe, some herbs. (please no actual maijunana)
Since Lord Strutbury died, you’re secretly moved into Aldbury Manor. No-one can know this, so if anyone has noticed, make up some feeble excuse.
Take your cap off and bow to the Rev Ingemells and tell him what a lovely sermon he performed at church on Sunday and what a splendid collection at the Thanksgiving service. Ask how she is.
Sometimes you’ll drone on too much about your gardens, something that’s come with living on your own for so long. In the gaps or silences you’ll mumble in every detail about your wonderful garden in a slow gravely voice.
Do not turn the page
You’ve been having an affair with Lady Strutbury for many years now. You were her boy toy. However, you’ve fallen in love, worship her and agree with everything she says.
Tell Victoria you have cut out all her appearances in the papers and put them in a special scrapbook. Pat her on the hand.
Hilary seems quite unhappy. When she isn’t looking, sprinkle your special herb on her plate.
You have a sore throat and a bad cough from smoking your pipe. This should be obvious so have a coughing fit.
Do not turn the page
You always find a nice bit of your special herb always calms down your cough so you start filling your pipe with your leafs. Ask if you can light up and puff away.
You have a big secret that is really touching the surface tonight. Two of Lord Strutbury oldest children were actually yours. This is Victora’s father and Seb’s mother, which makes you their grandfather. This has been hard for you. You’ve never got close to your children but perhaps now the Lord is dead you can now bond with grandchildren. It’s not time for you to reveal this secret yet. But tell Seb how proud you are of the success he’s made of his life and touch his arm and tell Victoria you’re proud of how beautiful she has turned out.
Oh, you nearly forgot a lady from a escort agency came round to the manor earlier looking for the Reverend. You sent him to the church? Did she meet him ok?
Do not turn the page
Before anyone even starts talking in this round, you’ll stand up and tell people you have a confession to make. Explain about your 50 year long affair with Lady Strutbury, the rolling around in the barns, those passionate nights and how she was your Lady Chatterly.
Then explain how the 2 eldest children are in fact yours, making Victoria and Seb your grandchildren. You can see yourself in young Seb, tell him.
You’ll be getting very stoned by this round so as it goes on you’ll be dancing around the room singing “I’m Henry the 8th I Am”
Tell Timothy that you know her and Lord Strutbury never got on, but now you are the Lord of the manor you’ll treat him better and give him a pay rise.
WHO MURDERED LORD STRUTBURY?
It wasn’t you.