The Invite:

FOR A LIMITED TIME: CRAP!!! FREE TO A GOOD HOME!!
Don’t fall off your stool, it’s time for our regular movement of the summer!!  Yes, it’s that time of year again, and we have a load of CRAP for YOU! Not being Garage Sale people, we’d rather discharge our little surprises to our close friends and family (you lucky little stinkers!)

Some of this crap is great…toast your loaf in the toaster oven that works perfectly well (as long as you hold the door closed); make your own swirly with the hand-me-down emersion blender; and light a match for all the candles, candles, CANDLES!!

Some crap almost still works (Own your own throne with the red plastic outdoor chair that “someone” leaned back in and kinda cracked, get steamy with the squeeeeeaky ironing board).

Some crap may be castoffs that originally belonged to you – here’s your chance to get it back (or “loose” it forever!)

Crap Day will start at 1, and will run all afternoon…

Here’s the catch (you knew there’d be a catch) – you have to haul the crap you pick out with you when you go – there is NO layaway plan. Oh, and this is not a community crap day, so PLEASE DON’T BRING ANYTHING – we’re not going to take any crap from you.

One way or the other, there is no doubt – you’re gonna take a lot of crap from us.


(wild boar ribs with thematic seasoning)

The Response:

“(hope you didn’t think our invite was corny)”

“Save that old stool for me!”

“I can’t hold it in any longer…I LOVE CRAP DAY!!!”

“Can’t blame ya. Word on the street is, Crap Day is the s#!+”

“Crape diem”

“You’ll wish you would’ve gone before you left!!”

“Thank you all so much for being here and participating in our annual Crap Day…it truly was the best one yet!!! and as for the rest of the stuff….it’s off to the DUMP! (or goodwill, rather)”

“It was a Crap Day Miracle!”

“It was like a Crappy Christmas morning”

“Yes, flushed with emotion, I’m always moved by the outflowing of support on Crap Day. I always hope when you want to take crap, it will be from us. May our crap run eternal. Until it erupts in flames.”